Avoiditis Scriptoris (ASc)

Recently I've been restless and finding it extremely difficult to sit down and just do that thing called writing. Usually I'm like one of those relentless androidy things in Terminator.

I sit down at my netbook and the words just go from my fingers, through the keyboard and onto the screen. But every once in a while I seem to be engulfed by Avoiditis Scriptoris.

This little known medical condition refers to a writer's inability to put pen to paper. Also sometimes more commonly known as Writer'sBlock.

It's a term I personally disagree with due to the use of the word “block” which always seems to suggest you should be eating more bran.

When my entire being is subsumed by Avoiditis Scriptoris, a whole host of things become enticing, even Lorraine Kelly.

Tuning in to the Lorraine competition is vital so that I can answer the extremely difficult question to WIN the damn car, money, vouchers etc...

I contracted ASc while at Uni. This first taste of being in charge of my own time brought on a type of megalomania which was nigh on impossible to quell. It lead me to do crazy things involving pots and pans, spatulas, scrubbing equipment and loo cleaner.

Now that I'm writing from home and once again having to self manage my time, I'm experiencing a resurgence of the megalomania. It is not helped by a host of modern activities clearly purposely designed to add to the advancement of my ASc.

Activities best avoided by this ASc sufferer

Dog sitting for a friend – a pooch needs at least three walks a day and when I factor in my meal times, going to the loo, watching the weather forecast and remembering to get out of my pajamas, well there's barely time to breath
The online Guardian crossword – only the quick one. My brain can't handle anything else.
Watching stuff on iplayer - it's research you know
Checking my emails – three times a day even though I don't get enough to warrant that much attention to my inbox
Completing online surveys for products I don't even use
Reading – a writer should always check out what the competition is doing
Finding ridiculous things to watch on telly, yet again convincing myself it counts as research
Food shopping – because a girl has to feed her brain or it will give out on her
Cooking – well something has to happen with the shopping I’ve just brought in
Cleaning – except the washing up. I hate doing washing up!
Facebook

Other writing friends have fessed up that they too suffer from various forms of ASc.

Here is a list of the top 10 activities best avoided by ASc sufferer.

Checking emails
Facebook
tweeting
reading
breakfast
lunch
snack time
tea time
coffee time
doing the laundry

When I finally realise I'm rapidly slipping down the slope of ASc, I give myself a very stern telling off. This generally seems to do the trick.

But I fully understand that not everyone is nuts enough to talk to themselves. So I've provided a handy poster I found on the internet to inspire all you fellow ASc sufferers to JUST GET OVER IT.

I hope it helps.

Faetaera: A Triumvirate

A Triumvirate Brairton’s minions slipped through a barely noticeable fissure. The tear would close shortly. Despite the increase in their regularity the breaches rarely stayed open very long. To the three insidious spies, the stink of the new world was almost unbearable. But in time the triumvirate would each become so used to it they would scarcely notice it at all. That it poisoned them they did not know. Brairton was not in the habit of informing his operatives of fatal consequences. Their programming precluded any thought beyond the mission they must complete. In this Brairton had been exact and had performed the necessary rituals himself. Each had their mission branded into their being. They would travel together for some time but then slip off to their secret destinations one by one, never to see each other again. The threesome latched on to their individual targets and began their particular brand of individual mischief immediately. Minion one skulked off to en

Aphasia - Phase 1

It was one morning of May 2021. I woke up and I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know I had a stroke. I carried on as though I was okay. I even tried to negotiate with my guest when she was leaving. I tried to talk but only mumbles came out of my mouth. She left me with a big hug. I knew something was wrong. I tried to call my cousin, Michelle. With a few grunts, I convinced her to come round to my place. In the end she came round and she was very worried. She stayed with and we had lunch together. After she left, I called my friend in Sheffield, Bev. I tried to say what was wrong with me. I couldn’t speak. She rang my neighbour, Kathy. Kathy was out with Nelson, her fabulous dog. Bev rang her so she came round. When she came to my house I was sitting in the dark. Bev said she should call an ambulance. I took the phone from her and shook my head. Before long my neighbours Lizz and Leo came to see how I was. Kathy told Leo to ring the ambulance because I took her phone. She did not know w

Guest Post: Creative Recharge

Lindsay Bamfield started writing fiction about 10 years ago. She has written a number of short stories and flash fiction pieces and has been published in Greenacre Writers Anthology , Voices from the Web 2012, The Best of Café Lit 2012, Mslexia, Writers’ News and Writing Magazine. She has won prizes in Writers’ News , Writing Magazine and Words with Jam competitions and has been shortlisted in others. She is currently re-working her first novel with advice from an editor and has a second novel on the back-burner. How do I recharge my writing batteries? I’m not sure I’m the right person to answer this as my batteries are still somewhat depleted after illness and debilitating treatment, but my writing activity, although still less than ideal has bounced back to some extent. It was only after being ill that I understood just how much energy writing requires. Exhaustion does not engender creativity. After a frustrating dry-spell when I wanted to write but eit

Rae of Light

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