Monday, 10 June 2013

Avoiditis Scriptoris (ASc)

Recently I've been restless and finding it extremely difficult to sit down and just do that thing called writing. Usually I'm like one of those relentless androidy things in Terminator.

I sit down at my netbook and the words just go from my fingers, through the keyboard and onto the screen. But every once in a while I seem to be engulfed by Avoiditis Scriptoris.

This little known medical condition refers to a writer's inability to put pen to paper. Also sometimes more commonly known as Writer'sBlock.

It's a term I personally disagree with due to the use of the word “block” which always seems to suggest you should be eating more bran.

When my entire being is subsumed by Avoiditis Scriptoris, a whole host of things become enticing, even Lorraine Kelly.

Tuning in to the Lorraine competition is vital so that I can answer the extremely difficult question to WIN the damn car, money, vouchers etc...

I contracted ASc while at Uni. This first taste of being in charge of my own time brought on a type of megalomania which was nigh on impossible to quell.  It lead me to do crazy things involving pots and pans, spatulas, scrubbing equipment and loo cleaner.

Now that I'm writing from home and once again having to self manage my time, I'm experiencing a resurgence of the megalomania.  It is not helped by a host of modern activities clearly purposely designed to add to the advancement of my ASc.

Activities best avoided by this ASc sufferer
  • Dog sitting for a friend – a pooch needs at least three walks a day and when I factor in my meal times, going to the loo, watching the weather forecast and remembering to get out of my pajamas, well there's barely time to breath
  • The online Guardian crossword – only the quick one. My brain can't handle anything else.
  • Watching stuff on iplayer - it's research you know
  • Checking my emails – three times a day even though I don't get enough to warrant that much attention to my inbox
  • Completing online surveys for products I don't even use
  • Reading – a writer should always check out what the competition is doing
  • Finding ridiculous things to watch on telly, yet again convincing myself it counts as research
  • Food shopping – because a girl has to feed her brain or it will give out on her
  • Cooking – well something has to happen with the shopping I’ve just brought in
  • Cleaning – except the washing up. I hate doing washing up!
  • Facebook

Other writing friends have fessed up that they too suffer from various forms of ASc.

Here is a list of the top 10 activities best avoided by ASc sufferer.

  1. Checking emails
  2. Facebook
  3. tweeting
  4. reading
  5. breakfast
  6. lunch
  7. snack time
  8. tea time
  9. coffee time
  10. doing the laundry

When I finally realise I'm rapidly slipping down the slope of ASc, I give myself a very stern telling off.  This generally seems to do the trick.

But I fully understand that not everyone is nuts enough to talk to themselves.  So I've provided a handy poster I found on the internet to inspire all you fellow ASc sufferers to JUST GET OVER IT.

I hope it helps.

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