Thursday, 5 February 2015


For several years now it's been a tradition of mine to email friends a list of the things I'd like to receive for my birthday. I've found it saves them time and energy and I don't have any embarrasing regifting episodes. Now that I'm posting on facebook and blogging more regularly I felt it incumbent on me to share this tradition with other people in the world.

So here, for your delictation, is my 2015 birthday list

The Ridiculous

  • Universal peace, no war whatsoever, not even on Star Trek
  • The end to world hunger
  • The end to all poverty
  • The end to homelessness
  • The end to abuse, subjugation and exploitation of any kind
  • A philanthropic, gorgeous redheaded carpenter with a brilliant sense of humour, smarts and kindness who totally gets me, tangos like a pro and doesn't think this writing lark of mine is complete madness.
  • A suitcase full of unclaimed wads of big value cash not related to any insideous crimes left at my door with a note saying “use me”.
  • An electric blue Smart car roadster with a year's tax and parking permit
  • A life time free supply of tango shoes from Balanceo or Regina
  • A complete renovation of my house and garden
  • An all expenses paid tango holiday in Buenos Aires
  • Endless amounts of all expenses paid sunny holidays
  • Cavity wall and loft insulation, a wind turbine and solar panels on the roof
  • A gardener who provides me with year round veg, herbs etc
  • Sharp Dark Things published the way it appears in my head
  • Sharp Dark Things snapped up by James Cameron or Steven Spielberg

     The Sublime

  • Massage and acupuncture vouchers from The Brixton Therapy Centre
  • Pedicure vouchers
  • Michelle Carr's crab curry
  • A tub of maple butter
  • Aromatherapy oils: lavendar, ginger, eucalyptus, orange, rosemary
  • The full box set of every season of Game of Thrones
  • Laura Mercier Ambe vanille body souffle
  • Fenjal bath soak
  • A new laptop
  • A phone design I like which I can see email on without my glasses
  • Private IT tutorials with a fine bit of redheaded tech savvy individual on how to use the above mentioned phone – if he looks a bit like a more mature version of Eddie Redmayne or Ed Sheeran, you won't hear any complaints from me
Okay, so this last one should really go in the ridiculous list, but a girl can dream can't she.

Okay, so the last one should really go in the ridiculous list, but a girl can dream can't she.

The Sensible

  • A tin/s of Milo
  • A tub of Nutella
  • Vouchers from Specsavers
  • Printer ink – Lexmark Z735
  • Fair Trade ground coffee
  • Vouchers from Sainsbury, Tesco, M&S or Morrisons

So the ridiculous list is longer than all the rest put together. What can I say – I'm a big dreamer.

Now dear friends and family, the choice of which list you decide to use for this year's gifting, is entirely up to you.

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